51 tell me what you did to me,
I'm crashing to the sky.
I swear, sometimes I wanna take some people by the shoulders, look into their eyes and scream some sense into them, until I get past that incredibly thick, impenetrable skull of theirs.
but. I'm just too nice. apparently my friends will attest to my inability to be mean even when I want to. should I be glad? I don't know, it ticks me off somehow.
sigh. if I seem irritable, it's just because I am. I've not had a single good night's sleep this week, and it isn't purely because of work, although I might add, that does significantly figure as one of the reasons for my sleep deprivation.
I just lie in bed thinking. because that's the only peace I have the whole day, when there's no one there but me, and my thoughts just go into overdrive. it's irritating, although I do like thinking about things. reflecting. you could say it's a pastime. haha. see when I think about things, I really think damn hard about them and 90% of the time I get really affected by the conclusions I come to. it makes me restless and it's hard to sleep when you're restless. -.-
if there's one thing I learnt from the way things have turned out since last year though, it's that I would rather keep all these thoughts to myself than go to a friend and have verbal diarrhoea about the things I think about... they're not dumping grounds for disturbing thoughts.
I saw that yellow paper that kwok had us write on in class, the one where everybody writes down your positive traits. "deep thinker". I really don't remember how I became one of those people who thought so much about things, I wasn't like this in secondary school at all. I love it, though, despite the pitfalls.. it's who I am.
yeaaaaaaaa I know how lame that sounds, but really I wouldn't be me if I stopped doing so much thinking about Life. hahaha. :)

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