58 uh-oh.

one thing I've definitely learned about myself this year is that I'm fantastic at forging new relationships and making new friends and stuff like that, and I guess it's apparent. but I really suck at maintaining friendships.

I can't remember birthdays for nuts, because i don't even try to remember them, I just depend on friendster alerts to tell me whose birthday is when, and all that.

I don't remember a lot about what's happening in my friend's life, unless it's really something unforgettable, like a cancer-stricken family member or something...

I don't, in fact I have never, thought of doing something sweet for my friends just because I want to be sweet to them and I want to make them smile and make their day, or anything...

I've never actually gotten a friend a real birthday present before, unless you count the joint birthday gifts... but I've never given anyone a gift with a note that says "from ani, happy birthday :)" I kinda think it's a waste of money. I know it's just nice to get somebody a birthday present, but I don't really want to attach the idea of exchanging gifts to any friendship.. the upside is that I don't expect to be given gifts either.

I'm not a very helpful friend either, i think.

this year, especially, I tend to think less about spending time with my friends and I do a lot more of the things I want to do, on my own. when I got problems, I just shut up and think about it myself, I don't go to my friends anymore. and conversely, when people have problems I don't think I'm a good person to go to ask for advice. I'm a good listener, but I don't know how to comfort my friends most of the time. like a friggin piece of wood, I tell you.

sigh maybe all these things are just what girls normally do, as in girls who are really good friends. but it's kinda sad that I don't do these things. no surprise that I feel the way I do sometimes..

go figure.